There is a concept in wellness and nutrition called “crowding out.”  A great example of this philosophy in action is when you want to transition from conventional beauty care products to natural or organic products.  This theory suggests you start replacing the items that run out one by one with natural products.  It’s more about adding in than taking away.  You do not throw out everything on your bathroom shelves because that, mentally, seems too drastic and might prevent you from making any change.

I think it’s the same with our thoughts.  You start slowly by adding a few good thoughts to crowd out the negative ones rather than trying to overhaul your entire negative story at once.  I know of two really good ways to do this – the top down approach or the bottom up approach. We’re going to focus on the top down approach for now.

The top down approach involves intentionally changing your negative thoughts to better feeling thoughts. You do this to create a general feeling of happiness without focusing on any particular problem.

Many of us struggle with similar, negative fundamental beliefs.  You might not be aware of them because they are sometimes subtle and manifest in our lives in the form of various problems.  To crowd out universal, negative beliefs such as:

I’m not good enough. or Something is wrong with me.

Start saying to yourself:

I love myself just the way I am.  I love myself just the way I am.  I love myself just the way I am.  I love myself just the way I am.

Repeat this to yourself over and over throughout the day.  Aim to say it 500 times a day.

This might seem cheesy but if you can’t tell yourself that you love yourself and mean it, then how can you expect others in your life to love you?  You go first.  People treat you the way you teach them to treat you.  If they see you love and respect yourself and talk to yourself kindly, they will model that behavior.

Back to the exercise, I recommend repeating this, or any other positive affirmation, while going through your morning routine. Another good opportunity to practice is when doing activities that require low level of attention like dishes or straightening up the apartment.  You’ll be organizing papers, repeating the phrase and you’ll get a little distracted.  Honestly, you’ll be surprised at the routine the mind has gotten into since you haven’t been paying attention.  Your thoughts quickly turn to worry, self criticism or criticism of others.

That’s ok.  This is part of the process.  Come back to the affirmation.  Just like meditation, the exercise teaches mindfulness, concentration and mastery of the mind.

Feeling any resistance to this?  That’s normal.  It’s actually part of Newton’s law of motion.  The reason objects (your current mental patterns) stay in motion is because they resist change in their state of motion.  You’re normal; everything you’re feeling is normal. Now get to work 🙂