Many people feel discouraged when they think about how many thoughts there are to change once they embark on this journey. I am familiar with this concern because I was one of those people.

Some sources say we have up to 70,000 thoughts in a day. I’m not sure about you but I feel like taking a nap when I think about changing 70,000 thoughts. Don’t worry; we’re not trying to change all of our thoughts, only the ones that feel bad.

Here’s the good, yet startling news. We generally have the same thoughts from day to day. If you think your coworkers suck, you had that thought yesterday; you’re having it today and chances are you’ll have it tomorrow. Unless you do something to change that thought, the law of motion is at play. An object (our thinking pattern) in motion stays in motion.

This means you’re not really trying to change 70,000 new thoughts each day. You’re just focusing on a handful of repetitive thoughts that cause you pain. If you think your coworkers suck, many additional thoughts spin off of that negative one. Addressing that one thought changes several after that.

Here’s a good thought to try out for a bit:

I only have one thought to work at a time, the one that is presently causing me pain.

On that note, let’s stay with the example of the coworker that “sucks.” If you don’t have a challenging relationship with a coworker, envision a family member or classmate. Read through the remaining text thinking of someone specifically from your life. You’ll feel much better in just a few minutes if you do. Here we go:

My coworker (family member, classmate, etc.) is stupid and unhelpful (thought).

This thought probably causes you to feel angry. When you’re angry (feeling), you interact with your coworker in an unkind, tense manner (action). This person doesn’t do their best work when interacting with you because the relationship is strained and the situation remains the same with the coworker “sucking” (result).

The idea here is to actively pick a new thought once you identify the one that is causing you to feel bad. Keep working with your thoughts and challenging your negative story. The goal is to arrive at a new story that causes you to really feel good. This may take some time; go at a pace that enables you to believe each new thought.

My coworker is stupid and unhelpful.

Turns to…

S/he isn’t trying to be stupid and unhelpful.

I really don’t know anyone that wants to be considered stupid and unhelpful so s/he isn’t doing it intentionally.

When someone acts like that, they are really hurting themselves. It feels bad to treat someone badly and I know this from my own personal experience.

That is how s/he is treating herself. (I truly believe the way we treat others is how we treat ourselves.)

If my thought patterns cause my feelings and actions, then my coworker’s thought patterns cause his/hers feelings and actions. This isn’t about me, it’s about his/her thoughts.

S/he’s doing the best s/he can.

Now, sit back and reflect on how you feel. Do you feel more relaxed, peaceful, lighter? Are you breathing easier and more deeply?  I know I am 😉

Envision interacting with this person. Perhaps you bring a feeling of compassion to the next encounter. S/he might act in a way that you would have interpreted as difficult in the past, but now you know this isn’t about you. It’s about him/her. You’re at peace and you act that way. You’ve taken your power back. Your feelings are under your control. It’s your choice what you think and, therefore, how you feel.

That’s the power of your thoughts. You chose to feel better and you improved a challenging relationship by changing one thought. Rock on.