If I told you changing your story (your repetitive thoughts) was easy, I’d be lying. I’m not going to lie to you.
It’s not easy. But it’s not impossible either. It’s somewhere in between and it’s extremely worthwhile.
Let me explain why it’s worth it. Let’s say someone gave you an Olympic gold medal. If you did nothing to earn it, where’s the enjoyment in the medal? It’s superficial, at best, and it would be short-lived. Same principle applies here, the more work, the better the result feels. Let’s lace up our (mental) shoes and get going.
Last week, we talked about how thoughts cause your feelings and the marriage rule. The marriage rule is when you think 1 good thought for every 5 bad thoughts about your partner once you’re in a relationship for some time.
Well, we’ve been in a relationship with ourselves for a long time. For some of us, it’s been 20 years or more.
When we tell someone, “You know, Bob, I said to myself….” We are describing the relationship we have with ourselves. We are always talking to ourselves. What we say to ourselves, through our thoughts, and to others, through our spoken words, is our story.
If you’re often talking about how you’re disorganized or don’t have it together, that’s the story you are telling about yourself. That causes you to feel disorganized and then you live a disorganized life. If we want to change the disorganization in your life, we are taught to create a bunch of action steps to organize. This is why most of these efforts fail. We can read hundreds of magazine articles, set countless plans and not change.
The most critical step is to change your thoughts. Then, we create action steps.
You’re not always thinking negative thoughts or being unkind to yourself. You sometimes think, “I did a great job on that project!” or “Man, I am owning it today with this, that or the other!”
It’s like the marriage rule, we do have good thoughts about ourselves but the ratio probably favors the negative thoughts.
Start noticing your thoughts. That’s step one of this process. You’ll notice your story is negative and may get overwhelmed.
Be patient with yourself. Be kind. That’s an important part of this stage. There’s no need to be frustrated. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re having a human experience.
If you’re doing this work, you’re doing something that many others are afraid to do, facing your biggest critic – yourself. The reward is worth it, you’ll find your best ally, friend and guide – also yourself 🙂
So…what’s your story? Let’s change it together.
The Way to Happy 