I feel unstuck in two key areas of my life after 20 years of struggling, and I wanted to share how this happened. The areas are weight and clutter. Let’s start with clutter and I will share more about weight loss in another post. 

I do not have a lot of clutter. I am like the average person who has just a little more than I need – extra books on my bookshelves, papers in my reading pile, and clothes in my closet. For that reason, my living space can get slightly messy. That said, I have always wanted a zero-clutter, tranquil home that feels Zen.

A good part of my mental energy and attention has been focused on resolving these issues for the past two decades. Yet I wasn’t able to make much progress despite all my efforts and it felt like I was always swimming upstream. 

I finally turned a meaningful corner on both journeys and it happened with one key step – I started listening to my inner voice and shedding shoulds. 

There is a lot to share about my journey because it is 15 years in the making. The long story short is that it has been about studying happiness. There have many chapters, such as studying a guru’s teachings, reading lots and lots (and more) books, meditating, becoming a life coach, self-coaching, being coached and learning lots of tools. All these things made a profound impact in my life, but didn’t move the needle on these two, long-standing issues. 

What changed my life most profoundly was listening to my inner guide. I have this still, quiet voice that is trying to help me through life, but I wasn’t able to listen to it because of my doubting mind. I think we all have this inner voice. Louise Hay called it her inner ding and others have referred to it as a feeling of coming home. When you get into alignment with your inner voice, it feels like you’re in flow with life and it feels amazing.

Connecting with one’s inner voice can be achieved in a variety of ways like creating space in our life to hear this voice, slowing down before making decisions or committing to things to check in with oneself, journaling, discussing issues with loved ones or meditating.

I had been doing all these things, but still wasn’t able to connect to my inner guide because my doubting mind was loud, almost as if a tantrum-throwing child (or adult!) was walking around clanging pots in my head! I used to have so much trouble making the simplest of decisions, such as whether to part with a dress or attend an event. 

I turned to muscle testing. Muscle testing has been used in numerous modalities of natural healing and Eastern approaches for decades. The primary idea is that it gives us access to our deeper wisdom stored within the body and uncluttered by the doubting mind. While this tool was necessary for my journey, your journey may not need this practice and may be better enhanced with any of the ideas in the above paragraph.

Back to clutter, I started going through my possessions to see which ones spark joy; thank you for your wisdom, Marie Kondo! I had read her book years ago (and highly recommend it), but wasn’t able to put the brilliant ideas into practice since I was unable to connect to my inner wisdom about what I really wanted or did not want…and, ultimately, who I truly am.

I realized everything I kept was something I thought I should do. I should read this book. I should keep this dress because there is nothing wrong with it. There were a lot of deeper, limiting beliefs about being fortunate, not taking that for granted and not wasting things.

If you’re like me in that regard, here is a thought to flip that line of thinking on its head. If it’s unused in your home, it is going to waste and creating ‘stuckness’ in your life. By giving it away or donating it, you’re actually giving the object a chance to enhance someone else’s life. You’re also freeing up your mental and physical space, which creates room for the universe to send good your way. 

More importantly, by keeping these things around me physically, I was constantly, subconsciously signaling that I wasn’t good enough as I was or with the decisions I had made. Why do I need to read any specific book? I have read plenty of books and will read plenty more in my life. My inner guide was pointing to other books and I have been reading all these years, just not 100% of the books on my bookshelves. 

I realized even deeper within me was another limiting belief that I would miss an important message or piece of knowledge. Instead, I started really trusting life knowing that if I am meant to get a message, it will come to me and life will keep trying until it does.

I dropped the shoulds and the extra books and clothes too! Interestingly, as I’ve been shedding shoulds, it’s been easier to shed excess weight too. While I am still going through my home clearing journey, I wanted to share this approach because I really do feel unstuck and fantastic. Here’s to you shedding shoulds and getting into the flow of life 🙂